y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
