How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
