adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
