This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
