I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Oh god it's open bar.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize