I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
