it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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