She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
