don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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