He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
