Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
