party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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