called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
