Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
