and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
