I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
