The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
