Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
