I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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