There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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