it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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