I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
