I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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