I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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