With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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