some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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