Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
