she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
