the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Help. Why am I so naked?
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