You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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