The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
