How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
