Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
