a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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