I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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