I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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