I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
