And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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