I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
