remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
