I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
