Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He shit in the fireplace
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
