It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
you had me at cake vodka
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
