i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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