He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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