i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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