i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
