It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
