Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
