God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
