I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
