I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
