If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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