btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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