dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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