Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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