this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
