hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
