You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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